Lately, I have been having dreams about Tessa.
And they feel so real. Like I was standing in front of her again. I could touch her, and she would become alive once more.
Sadly, I eventually wake up, and I know I will have to wait a while (hopefully) til I see her once more.
My sister & I have a history with sunflowers, and poppy flowers. In these dreams we are standing in a field of them as far as the eye can see. The sky is so bright, that it hurts to look up into. But, when I am looking at Tessa it doesn’t hurt.
Seems to me like it should. Seeing her, and knowing it’s a lie.
In the dreams she always ask about my life; what everyone has been up to, letting me vent if need be, and telling her all about my life currently.
It’s funny because that’s what she did when she was alive also. She was my go to person if I needed an ear to listen. She knew all my struggles and heartaches. My deepest secrets, and my joyous triumphs.
Now that she is gone I don’t have that anymore.
Yes, my DH is my best friend, but my sister was a whole different level of best friendship.
It’s hard just talking to her, and not being able to hear her voice talking back to me.
In the dreams she won’t talk about herself though.
When I wake up I always find that really strange.
And she doesn’t ask about her kiddos that are left behind without her.
But hey, it is just the ‘dream Tessa’.
These dreams feel so real; that they make me wonder if loved ones can reach out to you like that after they have passed.
I hope so.
It might be in vain, but it helps with my sanity.
Grief is a strange thing.
It’s so different for each person.